Well...hello there August.  How did you get here so quickly?

Yea...busy mom...busy wife...busy life.... heard it before, used it as an excuse.  I REALLY need to get out of the excuse pattern thing...  That is the whole reason I started a "weight loss" blog...or "fitness blog", or whatever this is.  Maybe just an attempt to take my personal struggles a little more public...hoping to find some similar souls who struggle daily with weight and the feelings of inadequacy that sometimes come with it.  I want to scream in frustration.  I don't remember a day past 10 years old where my self-esteem regarding my body hasn't been in the toilet.  Being 36 now, that is just...well...sad.  Yet, here I sit not doing a whole lot about it.

The good thing about sitting, is that I have done a lot of self-reflection and self-analyzing...which honestly, that can be good and bad.  My summer has been very rocky with lots of health issues which has limited my attempts at being active.  No, that is not another excuse, but life's funny way of sabotaging my efforts of making myself better.  I am getting over it...

I did participate in the Columbia Slim Down Challenge.  While I didn't lose the weight that I pledged to lose, I DID lose about 6 pounds, so I am focusing on the positive there.  I will take it.  I have also joined a fun and easy-to-use weight loss/fitness/nutrition web site called My Fitness Pal.  You can find it here.  My awesome friend, Kenna is "partnered" with me on this site, and she sends me encouraging messages frequently.  It is amazing to see my motivation change when I have cheerleaders!  My whole life the whole "weight" thing was very private and not discussed...at least it seemed this way.  Being overweight is a negative and almost shameful thing.  Now, please know that no one in my family has ever said they were ashamed of me because of my weight.  I most likely internalized all of those feelings, and that is how it feels.  (See...this is where that self-reflection thing really sucks.)

Anyway, you should check out My Fitness Pal.  There are apps, so it is very portable.  I really like it so far.  If you do try it, my nickname is "JacqueJo"...partner up and we can keep each other motivated!  I am finding I like cheerleaders!  If it is something that I honestly talk with others about, it doesn't seem so shameful.  Why has it taken me 36 years to figure this out?

Now for some fun pictures.  My wonderful husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage yesterday.  <3  Here is a picture from back in the day.

This is in 1991.  I was 15 years old and I think this was 4th of July weekend...right before my husband left for the Navy...for EIGHT years.  Needless to say, our dating relationship didn't last that long at this point.  But I was blessed enough that we crossed paths again several years later and the rest is history.

Two main reasons for posting this picture...well three.
1.  I LOVE this picture.
2.  In honor of our 10 years of marriage.
3.  As a reminder that, yes...I wasn't always "fat".  Although to be entirely honest, I really felt completely obese in this picture, as that is how I saw myself.  I bet I weighed a whopping 120.  Egads!  But you can see my poor body image.  It is the 4th of JULY...in Missouri...and I am wearing a SWEATSHIRT and have my arms crossed over my body...  Totally hiding.

This crap is so psychological.

My pledge to MYSELF:
1.  continue on My Fitness Pal, or at a bare minimum, log what I am eating everyday to keep track of what is going in my mouth.
2.  Begin walking again on a regular basis, with a goal of at least 3 x / week or 9 miles / week.
3.  Stick to my "exchange program" of 5 starches, 5 meats (protein), 4 fruits, 2 veggies, and 2 milks per day.

Ok.  Extremely long post over.  Had to catch up from my self-reflection.  :)

No more excuses!!!